Archive for libtards

Liberals Confused by Non-Boycott

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , on August 2, 2012 by conservativewerewolf

I didn’t go to Chick-Fil-A yesterday, but about five gajillion people did, probably because they support traditional marriage and definitely  because they support Chick-Fil-A COO Dan Cathy’s right to say he supports traditional marriage.

Remember when the Occupiers/hippies were ranting about “corporations” and Wall Street while carrying the products of various publicly traded corporations, such as Apple, and conservatives made all kinds of fun of them?

Well, some liberals think they’ve similarly gotcha’d conservatives over the Chick-Fil-A thing, because many of the people at these events used devices made by companies with pro-gay stances to take photos of people in line at Chick-Fil-A:

Yes, they really are dumb enough to think that because people are NOT boycotting Chick-Fil-A, that they SHOULD boycott Google and Apple.  Why?  Because CONSERVATIVES HATE GAY PEOPLE AND ARE BIGOTS AND JUST HATE HATE HATE ALL THE LIVE LONG DAY.

Orrrrr, maybe it’s about free speech after all?


Why I will never willingly live in California.

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , on July 15, 2012 by conservativewerewolf

Reason number 1: inane regulations.

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, shit’s about to go DOWN in San Fran, where the Presidio Social Club restaurant has defied Cali’s July 1st ban on foie gras!  Get your asses out there, foodies, and fight for your right to nosh on fattened duck (or goose) liver!

Stupid nuts are regulating duck (or goose) liver now.  I guess it’s “inhumane” or something.  Inhumane.  Pssh.  You wanna see inhumane?  Toss me a duck during a full moon.

You know what ducks are?  MEAT.  Not really the best, honestly, nor are geese… although geese should be eaten, if only for being nasty ornery wastes of space.  At least ducks are kinda pretty, and cute when they quack.

Until I eat them. 😀

That is, if duck is all that’s available.  I do prefer a big juicy cow (or a big, less juicy bison, for a less fattening treat).

I think I’m gonna go eat one instead of wasting more time wondering why the hell people like fattened duck/goose liver, and why the hell the ducks/geese, which will be eaten anyway, need regulated Jenny Craig.

Have I mentioned that some people would benefit greatly from fearing starvation?

Say What? Say Vagina!

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , on June 20, 2012 by conservativewerewolf

Yes, Say Vagina!  It’s liberating.  Or something.

Michigan Democrat Lisa Brown was silenced (gasp!) after saying the following:

“Mr. Speaker, I’m flattered that you’re all so interested in my vagina, but ‘no’ means ‘no.'”

I’m outraged they barred her from speaking! It’s completely unfair to prevent stupid people from saying stupid things – they just can’t help it.

Well, maybe she’s not stupid; maybe she just never learned where babies come from.

You see, the Michigan legislature was debating new restrictions on abortion, which, as we’ve all heard, means they were trying to “legislate women’s vaginas.”  That’s a strange way to put it, considering babies develop in the uterus, and only encounter the vagina when being born.  Or, when their remains are sucked out after decapitation.  Whichever.  It’s all about choice.

Anyway, Lisa was mad and decided to throw a fit on the steps of the statehouse by organizing a performance of Eve Ensler’s The Vagina Monologues, in which she would star.  Classy.

Actually, the play’s better than it used to be, since Ensler changed the age of the character who was statutorily raped by a woman from 13 to 16, and removed her comment “If it was rape, it was a good rape.”

(Maybe that’s what Whoopi, who has performed in the Vagina Monologues, meant about a rape not being RAPE rape.  I dunno.  These people are all nuts.)

Yet, despite those modifications, the play is still absurd in that it objectifies women.

Yes, you heard me.  A feminist objectified women by writing the stupid thing, and then thousands of others followed suit by performing it.  Brainpower is not at maximum among these folks.

Now, I was going to explain how the Vagina Monologues objectifies women, but I can’t without being excessively lewd.  I know, I write all kinds of shit, but I think there are people out there who’d really appreciate it if I left learning about it up to them.  So if you want to know, Google it*.  It’s fucking ridiculous.

*To save time, once you find it, ctrl-f “The Vagina Workshop.”  That’s the title of one of the monologues.  No, I am not kidding.

Okay, actually, I will quote the Vagina Monologues.  I’ll leave determining what “it” refers to up to you, though:

“It was me, she said, the essence of me.  It was both the doorbell to my house and the house itself.  I didn’t have to find it.  I had to be it.”

It would be almost funny if they weren’t so darn earnest.

THE BRAIN and Politics

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , on May 18, 2012 by conservativewerewolf

John Sexton at Breitbart points out the foolishness of author (of “The Republican Brain”) Chris Mooney’s assertion that there’s something wrong, something unevolved, in the brains of  Republicans.

Alternet’s Joshua Holland explained at that

“Research suggests that conservatives are, on average, more susceptible to fear than those who identify themselves as liberals. Looking at MRIs of a large sample of young adults last year, researchers at University College London discovered that “greater conservatism was associated with increased volume of the right amygdala. The amygdala is an ancient brain structure that’s activated during states of fear and anxiety.”

The tagline of his article is “Conservatives’ paranoid alternate-reality can be explained by their brain chemistry — and their media choices.”

So stupid libprogs think that a difference between the brains of Democrats and Republicans means Republicans are crazy neanderthals.  You know what the Conservative Werewolf says to that?

Better a Neanderthal than dead.

How many times have I hypothesized that leftists lack normal self-preservation instincts???  How many freaking times???

Well, it all makes sense now. 😛

Elizabeth Warren claims to be part Werewolf

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , on May 3, 2012 by conservativewerewolf

I mean, Native American.   I mean, what?



Liz.  Even if your great-great-great-grandwhoever was a werewolf, it doesn’t mean that you will turn furry when the full moon rises.  So don’t try to claim that you understand what it’s like to get two anesthesia-free nose-jobs each month.  Or to grow a tail.  Or to be starving for protein all the damn time.  Or to get shot by hunters (okay, that one hasn’t happened to me, but I know a guy).

I know, it’s cool to be a werewolf these days.  We get awesome(ly bad) movies made about us, and people want to be like us, and it’s very flattering and all, but seriously.  You are a human.  Popularity isn’t worth being a pathetic poser.

Oliver Stone’s son converts to Islam and chooses stereotypical name

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , on February 14, 2012 by conservativewerewolf

I just read that libdouche Oliver Stone’s son has converted to Islam while in Iran working on a documentary.  Part of me hopes he is sincere, that this isn’t merely an attempt to gain the trust of the locals, because, if he professes any other religion (or no religion) later, he’ll be put on a kill list.  Islamic radical militants don’t like apostates.

The best part, of course, is his new name, the second most stereotypical Islamic name after you-know-who’s name: Ali.

I guess this scene just spoke to him:

This musical extravaganza is in spectacular low quality because you can’t have nice things, Iran.  You don’t treat your people well, so no HD for you.

Honestly, WHO goes to Iran and thinks theocracy is so super awesome that he just must convert to their religion? I mean, other than this guy?

What was he thinking?  Well, this:

“The conversion to Islam is not abandoning Christianity or Judaism, which I was born with. It means I have accepted Mohammad and other prophets,” he said in a brief telephone call from the central Iranian city of Isfahan, where he underwent the ceremony.

That’s very nice and accepting of you.  Hope you don’t also decide to get an unapproved haircut while you’re over there.

UPDATE: I knew this guy had to be an idiot because he converted IN IRAN.  Like that’s in any way unlike painting “I’m a huge fucking tool” backwards on his forehead.  Here‘s confirmation of his idiocy – yes, he actually calls Ahmadinejad “misunderstood.”  TOOL.