Archive for abortion

The electricity is people! SORRY I mean fetuses.

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , on March 24, 2014 by conservativewerewolf

If a fetus, a human being in an early stage of development, is merely an extension of its mother’s body, then maybe its remains being burned and used to heat hospitals in the UK isn’t that bad.

Actually, it is.  Think about it – would YOU want to be provided energy from a kidney that might have functioned perfectly well, had it been left where it was, or given to someone else?  But no, she wanted that kidney ripped out right away because it was doing exactly what it was supposed to.  Or maybe it wasn’t the best kidney in the world.  Was it killing her?  No.  She just didn’t want it.  So out it went and into the incinerator.  Oh, did you want a kidney?  Do you not have one?  Oh.  Sorry.  Too late.

See what I did there?  There was an adoption metaphor in there.  A very weird one, but yes.  There it is.

Go ahead – call me a weirdo.  At least I’ve never burned the remains of a helpless little baby human.

Oh, but I guess it’s cleaner than burning coal, so that gives them the moral high ground.  Save the trees, kill the people.  Fetuses.  Sorry, not people.  I keep forgetting – my programming wasn’t complete.

When will liberals figure out that the inevitable end of modern progressivism is evil?  All the good intentions in the world cannot make evil un-evil.



Here’s a Poem

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , on December 9, 2012 by conservativewerewolf

Because I’m literary and shit.  Don’t worry, it’s short and good.


Say What? Say Vagina!

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , on June 20, 2012 by conservativewerewolf

Yes, Say Vagina!  It’s liberating.  Or something.

Michigan Democrat Lisa Brown was silenced (gasp!) after saying the following:

“Mr. Speaker, I’m flattered that you’re all so interested in my vagina, but ‘no’ means ‘no.'”

I’m outraged they barred her from speaking! It’s completely unfair to prevent stupid people from saying stupid things – they just can’t help it.

Well, maybe she’s not stupid; maybe she just never learned where babies come from.

You see, the Michigan legislature was debating new restrictions on abortion, which, as we’ve all heard, means they were trying to “legislate women’s vaginas.”  That’s a strange way to put it, considering babies develop in the uterus, and only encounter the vagina when being born.  Or, when their remains are sucked out after decapitation.  Whichever.  It’s all about choice.

Anyway, Lisa was mad and decided to throw a fit on the steps of the statehouse by organizing a performance of Eve Ensler’s The Vagina Monologues, in which she would star.  Classy.

Actually, the play’s better than it used to be, since Ensler changed the age of the character who was statutorily raped by a woman from 13 to 16, and removed her comment “If it was rape, it was a good rape.”

(Maybe that’s what Whoopi, who has performed in the Vagina Monologues, meant about a rape not being RAPE rape.  I dunno.  These people are all nuts.)

Yet, despite those modifications, the play is still absurd in that it objectifies women.

Yes, you heard me.  A feminist objectified women by writing the stupid thing, and then thousands of others followed suit by performing it.  Brainpower is not at maximum among these folks.

Now, I was going to explain how the Vagina Monologues objectifies women, but I can’t without being excessively lewd.  I know, I write all kinds of shit, but I think there are people out there who’d really appreciate it if I left learning about it up to them.  So if you want to know, Google it*.  It’s fucking ridiculous.

*To save time, once you find it, ctrl-f “The Vagina Workshop.”  That’s the title of one of the monologues.  No, I am not kidding.

Okay, actually, I will quote the Vagina Monologues.  I’ll leave determining what “it” refers to up to you, though:

“It was me, she said, the essence of me.  It was both the doorbell to my house and the house itself.  I didn’t have to find it.  I had to be it.”

It would be almost funny if they weren’t so darn earnest.

There is no Republican war on women

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , on April 2, 2012 by conservativewerewolf

If you believe there is one, you are being a tool.  Stop being a tool.


Okay, stop with the crazy emotions and think for a second.  Yes, men and women are physically different – only women can get pregnant.  That does not mean that anyone owes women birth control or abortions so they can have sex without worrying about pregnancy like men.  Same is not equal.  We’re different, and it’s okay.  Yes, women have to be more careful, but if we all stopped whining about it, we could probably take over the whole damn world (sorry men, but we could).  I am not advocating this because the Conservative Werewolf is a fan of men and women’s inherent equality.  But seriously, if women learned ninjitsu, got some guns (both for self-defense only), and then refused to have sex with douchebags and assholes… the world would be a much better, kinder, more productive place.

It really wouldn’t be that hard.  Women would just need to stop acting like Sex and the City’s premise that women can and should “have sex like men” makes any kind of sense.  Oh, and there would be a lot fewer unwanted pregnancies that way (because birth control can fail).

What?  That’s right.  You knew that.  That’s why nutty women rally for abortion wearing nothing but stickers above their belts: abortion is the fail-safe.  It’s not just for when a woman’s health is in danger (just about everyone in the country agrees on allowing exceptions for the health of the mother; that’s why the most absolute anti-abortion measures can’t get enough support anywhere – seriously, go look it up) – don’t let them make you afraid of some crazy post-apocalyptic world in which women are forced to carry babies to term even if it means they could die.  That’s not gonna happen, because MOST CONSERVATIVES AGREE WITH YOU THAT THIS WOULD BE A TERRIBLE THING.   If most women who support Roe v. Wade knew this, and knew how often abortion is used as birth control, they would probably support some changes.  But they’re lied to constantly by the crazies.

Human women who rabidly support abortion are just weird.  Pregnant women have another human being’s body developing inside their own body, but the nutters don’t want to accept that it’s another human being’s body.  No, it’s not part of the mother’s body – it’s a unique human with its own DNA.  Look that up, too.  It’s science.

And, because of legal abortion for any reason, women have the power to destroy that life with no legal consequences.  But abortion-supporters still aren’t happy.  Noo, they need everyone to accept them, and not judge them, and PROVIDE THEM WITH BIRTH CONTROL.  Yeah, we need to work on health insurance in this country, but no one has a right to free birth control.  That idea is just silly.  We don’t have rights to most things we need (like food).  And we shouldn’t!  How hard would people suck if everything they needed was just handed to them?  It would be a world full of teenagers.  Ugh!  That would be worse than living in a world full of werewolves.  I am not kidding.

Instead of creating a Brave New World, why not just take care of our offspring?

BUT CW, life is like, expensive!

No shit.  But somehow, PP received hundreds of thousands of dollars after Susan G. Komen announced it would sever ties with the organization.  What if all the money that goes to abortion providers went to help struggling mothers?  It wouldn’t be enough to send every baby to college, but it could certainly help with pre-natal care, job training and adoption.  Just think what we could afford if killing unborn babies wasn’t anyone’s priority.

So, the next time you read about the Republicans’ “War on Women,” stop and think.  And maybe go talk to a few Republicans to find out what we* really think.  (WARNING: if you do not believe fetuses are human** your brain may short circuit.)

*Yeah, I’m a Republican, but only because it’s easier to be involved in political processes if you register with a party.  Plenty of Republicans are lamewads – but there are only two major parties.  What’s a werewolf to do?

**We’ve all heard the meaningless/subjective “a fetus is not a baby” argument – now, there’s the “a fetus is not a human being” argument – although really, I don’t see how anyone could argue that, so it’s probably more accurately labelled a mantra.

And, most importantly, don’t hate on Republicans just because we can see the ridiculous end results of liberals’ dumb ideas.  Really, all that energy you’re expending freaking out is a waste.  Chill the hell out, and ask yourself if you’re in a frenzy because someone has successfully whipped you up into one.  It’s okay to be angry, but only if there’s a good reason.  “They don’t wanna give me free stuff!” is not a good reason.  Be the logical thinking person you’re capable of being – and for fuck’s sake, stop being a tool.

Would YOU abort Derpy Hooves?

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , on January 13, 2012 by conservativewerewolf

Look at this face:

And then ask yourself: would you abort Derpy Hooves?

Yeah, she’s a pain in the butt sometimes, like when she dropped an anvil on Twilight Sparkle, but Twilight was fine!  No harm, right?

I read an article at called “A New Eugenics: Aborting the Child with a Disability” and thought of all the love Derpy gets – hell, she was largely a fan creation (her name and occupation were decided by fans, then approved by My Little Pony maker Hasbro).  And I wondered, when people say that unborn humans with disabilities should be aborted, how do born humans with disabilities feel?  Seriously, if you think an unborn baby with Down Syndrome or whatever should be aborted, before SAYING or TYPING it, I want you to picture Derpy Hooves crying.  If people can give this much love to an animated pegasus with googly eyes…

Now, you may argue that there’s nothing cute about cerebral palsy (“the sexiest of the palsies”), but I can’t imagine an Oprah Winfrey Network without Zach Anner (not that I usually spend time thinking about OWN, which, without Zach, would be NOTHING).

Zach Anner became a YouTube celebrity when he auditioned to win his own TV show on Winfrey’s OWN channel.  Watch it here and be sure to read the comments – they are full of love for this guy who has a terrible disability, but faces life bravely with humor!

Turns out Zach won the contest. 😀

Zach Anner’s “Rollin’ With Zach” premiered January 12th on OWN.   I didn’t see it because I don’t even know what number OWN is 😦 But if the show is anything like his YouTube videos, it’s gonna rock.  I encourage everyone to check it out.  This guy is my hero.   It’s kind of hard for people in wheelchairs to globe-trot, so if nothing else, it’s something new (and when was the last time we saw a new concept on TV?).  It’s also freakin’ inspiring.  Roll on, Zach!

Humans, Stop Killing Your Children

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , on June 27, 2011 by conservativewerewolf

Yeah, still about to fall asleep over here but while turning around three times I remembered this NY Times article about the 160 million women who would have lived if they hadn’t been taken out of the oven too soon.

I wonder what that makes the human:werewolf ratio, don’t you?