Say What? Say Vagina!

Yes, Say Vagina!  It’s liberating.  Or something.

Michigan Democrat Lisa Brown was silenced (gasp!) after saying the following:

“Mr. Speaker, I’m flattered that you’re all so interested in my vagina, but ‘no’ means ‘no.'”

I’m outraged they barred her from speaking! It’s completely unfair to prevent stupid people from saying stupid things – they just can’t help it.

Well, maybe she’s not stupid; maybe she just never learned where babies come from.

You see, the Michigan legislature was debating new restrictions on abortion, which, as we’ve all heard, means they were trying to “legislate women’s vaginas.”  That’s a strange way to put it, considering babies develop in the uterus, and only encounter the vagina when being born.  Or, when their remains are sucked out after decapitation.  Whichever.  It’s all about choice.

Anyway, Lisa was mad and decided to throw a fit on the steps of the statehouse by organizing a performance of Eve Ensler’s The Vagina Monologues, in which she would star.  Classy.

Actually, the play’s better than it used to be, since Ensler changed the age of the character who was statutorily raped by a woman from 13 to 16, and removed her comment “If it was rape, it was a good rape.”

(Maybe that’s what Whoopi, who has performed in the Vagina Monologues, meant about a rape not being RAPE rape.  I dunno.  These people are all nuts.)

Yet, despite those modifications, the play is still absurd in that it objectifies women.

Yes, you heard me.  A feminist objectified women by writing the stupid thing, and then thousands of others followed suit by performing it.  Brainpower is not at maximum among these folks.

Now, I was going to explain how the Vagina Monologues objectifies women, but I can’t without being excessively lewd.  I know, I write all kinds of shit, but I think there are people out there who’d really appreciate it if I left learning about it up to them.  So if you want to know, Google it*.  It’s fucking ridiculous.

*To save time, once you find it, ctrl-f “The Vagina Workshop.”  That’s the title of one of the monologues.  No, I am not kidding.

Okay, actually, I will quote the Vagina Monologues.  I’ll leave determining what “it” refers to up to you, though:

“It was me, she said, the essence of me.  It was both the doorbell to my house and the house itself.  I didn’t have to find it.  I had to be it.”

It would be almost funny if they weren’t so darn earnest.

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