Archive for J. R. R. Tolkien

Where are the Women in Middle Earth?

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , on January 7, 2013 by conservativewerewolf

Oh, they’re there.  Being in charge (Galadriel).  Being inspirational (Arwen).  Being ALIVE, somehow, despite all that Mordor Orc death-dealing crap (all the women, including Hobbit women, like Rosie Cotton).  Being evicted from their homes by a dragon (the Dwarf women who made it out).  Being silverware-thieves (Lobelia Sackville-Baggins).  Being ON A HORSE (Eowyn).

But they aren’t there enough, whines some person who wrote this article for Time: “Tolkien seems to have wiped women off the face of Middle-earth.”

Um, wrong.  I would love to dismiss the entire article for that bit of foolishness alone, but I am so very annoyed by the continuing demands of modern people that women kick just as much physical ass, just as often, as men.

Look, article-author-person, if YOU want to go quest through Orc-infested lands, poop on the ground, and not bathe for weeks, with meeting a CRANKY DRAGON as your goal, be my guest.

Meanwhile, I’ll be chilling in civilization, planning the menu for the return feast, assuming the valiant questers do in fact return with their innards intact.

While I would be honored to fight beside this sexy manly man, I would much rather make him a sandwich.

While I would be honored to fight beside this sexy manly man, I would much rather just make him a sandwich.

It’s not that I couldn’t slay Orcs… but why should I when the men are willing to do it for me?  If I really wanted to, I could make like Eowyn, and you know, just do it.  But I don’t want to.  Most women don’t want to.  Are you really gonna piss on Tolkien for understanding that?

Yes, she is, and not only Tolkien, but every other author/creator who ever wrote an adventure story featuring mainly male characters (she even has a problem with the Muppets… did it ever occur to her that perhaps most female Muppets are in finance, not trying to keep a failing theater afloat?).

Look, you don’t like it?  Write your own damn story about females who save the world.  Oh, but no – it’s so much easier to bitch about people who didn’t.

But if you did, and the story was good, I would happily read it – but not until after I’ve reread The Hobbit, because I really don’t think you can do any better.  And if I had a son, I would direct him first towards The Hobbit to get him thinking about the kind of man he should grow up into (brave and courageous!).  We have a shortage of men, you see…  plenty of males, but few men among them.  Don’t believe me?  Take a man-on-the-street-poll: how many “guys” these days have a concept of what it means to live a virtuous life?  In other words, have they even considered what it means?  “Virtue?  What the fuck is that?”  “That shit went out with chivalry.”  “Sounds suspiciously anti-woman, doesn’t it?”

*bangs head on desk*

And now you know why this whiny-woman shit pisses me off: women don’t need more examples of women kicking ass for righteous causes – MEN do!  Or,  I mean, males… if they were men, they would already be valiant/brave/courageous and virtuous.

THE END  [of civilization]


Mommy am I pretty? NO, you’re UGLY!

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , on July 28, 2011 by conservativewerewolf

Really, what are you going to say, lady who thinks it’s harmful to tell your little girl she’s pretty, when your beautiful little girl asks you if she’s pretty?

“Whatever happened to moderation?” Conservative Werewolf muttered before realizing she’d become an old fogey before hitting thirty.

Here’s an idea – don’t make a big deal about looks but don’t pretend looks don’t matter to people.  How’s that?  “Yes, you’re pretty, but it’s much more important that you be a good, moral person.”  Or, if your kid is ugly, “You are a beautiful person, and anyone who tells you otherwise is only commenting on you because they’re insecure.”  Or, if your kid is an ugly jackass, “Your only hope is to have inner beauty, kid – better get to work on that.”

[And when said jackass brings up the possibility of plastic surgery, you could say: “Sure, you can make yourself beautiful, just like Voldemort could make himself live forever.  Now, let’s have a talk about the kind of person you want to be.”]

“Har har, Conservative Werewolf.  But is it really bad not to tell your daughter she’s pretty?  Wouldn’t it help her not focus on her appearance?”

No, it wouldn’t.  You can fight society’s shallowness, but, for the sake of your kid, you shouldn’t ignore it.  Similarly, we can fight our impulses, but if we ignore them, we’ll end up mauling an entire small town in one moonlit evening (well, maybe not YOU, but, well, it’s a metaphor).  Little missy is probably going to want boys to like her at some point in her life.  If she expresses no interest in anything related to romance until she’s thirty, well, good for you.  But, if, like the author’s daughter, she does, what do you do?:

“The other week, when Hannah tried on a new dress (yellow and twirly at her request) and asked if she could wear it to nursery because ‘Louis [her friend] will tell me I look beautiful,’ my first reaction was to laugh, then text Louis’s mum to discuss wedding plans.

Of course, because it’s cute and normal.  Oh, she wants a boy to notice her?  Couldn’t be that someday she’ll want to smooch one? OMG, let’s freak out that she’ll become anorexic:

But once I was over the comedy factor, it bothered me that my three-year-old thought the way to impress her friend was by looking pretty.  And I was horrified when I read that a recent BBC survey had found that six out of ten eight to 12-year-olds thought they’d be happier thinner, and that research by Girl Guiding UK had found that girls under ten often link happiness with body image.

This is a prime moment for guiding your kid in the ways of not being a little whore (i.e., not feeling she needs males to drool all over her for self-esteem, and therefore not going around wearing next to nothing and/or feeling she must radically change her body).  But ignoring that she’s gonna grow up into a cutie-pie isn’t gonna do it.

When I take them out together, my one-year-old son Rafal gets ‘clever’, ‘friendly’ and ‘smiley’ thrown his way, whereas my daughter is bombarded with pretty dress chat. The well-meaning compliments of passers-by is a reminder of the world in which she’s growing up. Rafal will be fine being friendly and clever, but Hannah will constantly be judged on how she looks.

It’s little wonder that studies have found that attractive women are assumed to be kinder and more intelligent and are also more likely  to make friends and even find jobs.

Do you realize this doesn’t make sense??  “My daughter is bombarded with pretty dress chat” –> “It’s little wonder that studies have found that attractive women are assumed to be… MORE INTELLIGENT”??? Really?  Could you explain to me how A leads to B?  Or, in her case, how it’s a bad thing?  So people will assume good things about her- great!  Help her be able to live up to the expectations of being able to figure things out, being up for the job, etc.

We can’t shelter our daughters from that reality, but as psychologist Susie Orbach, author of the ground-breaking body-image bible Fat Is A Feminist Issue, puts it: we can ‘innoculate’ against it. ‘When others say “she’s so pretty”, we can concur but also add that she does such a great job of skipping, running or playing her drums.

See, even you understand.  Couldn’t have just gotten straight to the logical point, hm?  Had to whine for several paragraphs about your concerns and feelings and shit.  There’s a time for processing our feelings, and there’s a time for addressing them.
‘Or talk as well about an aspect of her character so the pretty is acknowledged but not primary.’ Dr Sandra Wheatley, psychologist and author of Helping New Mothers To Help Themselves, agrees: ‘It’s natural to dress up girls in a typically feminine way and there’s nothing wrong with that — as long as that’s not all you focus on. If you fight against human nature, you’ll always lose the battle.’
Thank you, modern psychologist lady, we could not have figured that out ourselves.  People haven’t known this for generations.  This, feminists, is your legacy: people being quoted in papers saying the obvious things that counter your messages of gender sameness and such bullshit.
The article concludes:

There’s no getting away from the fact that being comfortable and confident with her appearance will help my daughter get on in life. And as long as I help her to value her other more enduring qualities, feeling good about her looks is something I should encourage, too. So next time I brush her hair and she gives me that ‘tada!’ look, I won’t feel guilty about telling her how pretty her curly hair looks. And I won’t even mind if she says mine is pretty, too.

All children, while growing up in a physical world and addressing the day to day issues herein, need to learn that it’s the things we can’t see that truly matter.  Maybe next time the Daily Mail will publish an article that delves a little deeper into the subject.  *snrk*

“All that is gold does not glitter,
Not all those who wander are lost;
The old that is strong does not wither,
Deep roots are not reached by the frost. “
-J. R. R. Tolkien in The Lord of the Rings
“You don’t have a soul. You are a soul. You have a body.”
-C. S. Lewis in Mere Christianity