Archive for Hollywood

Liberal Hollywood and Curmudgeonly Conservatives

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , on November 9, 2013 by conservativewerewolf

I’m still too young to be a curmudgeon, but “Dirty Dancing” annoys the crap outta me.  “You stupid kids!!  Are you not thinking about what you’re doing?” I yell at TV.  I can’t deal with their not-in-any-way-appealing naivety or worldly stupidity, so I mute it and read cynical news commentary, only glancing up to check if they’re dancing.

I’m such a girl – I love the swirly skirts and the shiny biceps, but I find, as I near another full decade on Earth, that I’m much less willing to put up with the asinine shit that accompanies it.  Back in the day (like, oh God, ten years ago?) I could more easily overlook that ish.  It wasn’t that I didn’t think risking one’s life to kill one’s own innocent flesh and blood was fucking stupid then; I guess I just had a higher limit.  Or maybe I thought I’d miss out on something otherwise truly wonderful (Patrick Swayze dancing) if I didn’t watch a girl fawn all over and fuck him because he’s “everything.”  No, Baby – he’s the shit on the dance floor, but he really needs a steadier job.  These days, life feels too short to take the obnoxious with the entertaining.

Life is, unfortunately, also too busy for me to sit around and watch BBC dramatizations of Jane Austen novels.  At least she had the good sense to mock insipidity.  Growl, grumble, etc…

It’s not that I’m angry.  I’m just sick of watching characters I don’t respect.  No, that’s not true – I loved Pitch Perfect.  But at least the main character wasn’t a slut, too (right – because she avoids attachment… that possible implication, I suppose, I can overlook), and there is no glorification of the other chicks’ sluttiness.  This allows the crotchety viewer to share the “Yes, you’re a slut – let’s move on to some some singing” attitude of their choirmates.   So, maybe I’m not that curmudgeonly after all (yes, I am).

Of course I am.  I’m just desensitized to so much, thanks to moronically permissive acquaintances, that foolish immorality often only gets a glance and shrug, and maybe an eye-roll (unless 1. it’s the focus of EVERY NEWS STORY, thank you, Miley Cyrus – now grow the fuck up, please, before you ruin your relationships with your future children who will probably want to look up to you… or, 2. if it’s central to the plot of what otherwise could be an engaging feel-good flick).

Whatever.  Why I am I talking about movies this much?  I’m a big werewolf and I have work to do.  I don’t expect to change Hollywood by, I dunno, bitching and not going to the theater.  Hollywood is full of pedophiles and the weak-minded, who aspire to FAME, not integrity.  It’s no surprise they turn out a bunch of shallow shit about people who need to turn their brains on and not take, what was it, $200 from their fathers to fund sketchy abortions because THAT couldn’t go wrong.  Or BE wrong.  Naaah.

Man, I remember when I liked this movie.  What has become of me???  Is this just the beginning of the end for pop culture and me?

I couldn’t bring myself to watch “Pretty Woman,” today, so, yeah, probably.  [Richard Gere has about .00571% of a personality in that movie.  And he hires a prostitute.  Yes, it’s Julia Roberts, but no.  That is NOT HOT.]

Again, whatever.  At least there’s another Hobbit movie coming out.  And that Katniss girl is pretty f’ing awesome.  Maybe these will become modern classics and overshadow the inexplicably popular bullshit that doesn’t speak so well of us.

Someday, There Will Be a Movie I Want to See

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , on July 1, 2011 by conservativewerewolf

And that day is July 15th.

REMUS LUPIN WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAI!!!

In the meantime, I suppose I could catch a matinee showing of Larry Douchebag, the nice guy who tries to steal some other shmuck’s wife.  Thank you, Tom Hanks, for explaining how to get through the economic recession.  I’m so glad you understand what we’re going through.

How I wish you weren’t such a loser.  Alas, you are just too smart for common sense.  Or something (crushing on the big-eared one?).