Archive for saggy pants

Bring Back Blazers

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , on November 29, 2012 by conservativewerewolf

UPDATE: Oh, God – this post is just in time.  0_0;;;

It’s easy to understand why many people did not relate to robot Romney, who was only slightly better programmed than Obama (who has to take his input via teleprompter; Romney, I’m guessing, learned conservative speech via USB).

But, one wonders, would a more personable personality have gotten through to people who dress like this?:

or like this?:

I’m not sure, so I’m going to answer that question with another: Why is it that people who dress like shit are winning the “culture” war?

You know what?  If I can’t have a president who doesn’t want to bankrupt the coal industry, I should at least get to have fashion on my side.  Explaining things logically did not work, so Conservatives, here is our new mission: We will somehow cause the androgynous-women-loving gay men of fashion to crush on William F. Buckley, Jr., thereby getting the morons and progs to dress appropriately:

“I profoundly believe it takes a lot of practice to become a moral slob.”

(We’ll tell the hipsters that cutting their damn hair and wearing suits is “ironic.”)

While I will admit I have a soft spot in my heart for plaid flannel, this is not the 90s (dur, look at the prices of everything).  We have serious problems in this country and serious problems require serious attire:

This is what a hippie should look like.

What will this accomplish, you ask?  Not much on its own – it’s only the first step of my multi-step plan to re-normalize conservatism.  Just say no to prog-normativity, and wear your blazer with pride (and pearls)!

Next time: Where to wear your blazer/smoking jacket?  To conservative cocktail parties, of course! (Your pretentious liberal elite friends will LOVE them!  And you will get them drunk and play Reagan speeches while they’re drooling on your couch.  When they awake, the Laffer curve will suddenly make sense to them.)


If Only Humans Had Fur

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , on June 22, 2011 by conservativewerewolf

Then we could avoid this.

The same airline, US Airways, that kicked a high school football player off a plane for wearing saggy pants that revealed his underpants, allowed a man in women’s undies and thigh-high sock-type-things to fly.

Cross-dressers must be more special.  Let’s all be sure we don’t offend them because they might take off their heels and hit us with them.  Or something.

Seriously.  The airline didn’t do anything; it’s not a sentient creature.  The humans on Ladies Underwear Man’s flight just didn’t have the balls to tell him to go put on a damn dress.