Archive for What the fuck ever happened to decorum?

Stupid Women: Stop being terrible people and making the rest of us look like monsters

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , on February 16, 2012 by conservativewerewolf

Yes, I wandered into THAT part of teh Interwebs again and found myself at a website for women.

Generally, I really fucking hate any media geared toward women.   Lifetime TV? Horrific tales of child abduction and abuse that the occasional episode of Designing Women does not make up for.  The View?  All I hear is *cackle cackle SCREEECH*  Jezebel?  Tacky women bitching about the patriarchy trying to control their bodies or some crap.

How can a woman so detest entertainment made specifically for her?  Because it isn’t actually made for me – it’s made for stupid crazy whores by people who either are stupid crazy whores themselves, or believe the majority of women are stupid crazy whores.

This delightful little number about women’s top three sexual fantasies was presumably written by a woman (Tracey COULD be a man’s name, or perhaps a nom de plume) who needs to learn to keep some things to herself.  Women, apparently, most fantasize about the following three scenarios:

1) “He’s a virgin – and you’re Mrs.  Robinson.”

2) “He’s your sex slave.”

3) “You’re abducted by a stranger.”

Let’s address these one by one.

1) You say “The Graduate,” but I think of this.  The author describes that the male in the scenario is supposedly thinking “What will his mom say if she finds out?”  Uh, if a guy is worried about what his mom is gonna think, just how old is he supposed to be?  This is NOT APPEALING.  Oh, and if you like this and you’re a teacher, quit your job.  Now.

Or, maybe I’m just weird for liking fully grown men, or for not getting off on making others uncomfortable by playing immature power games.

2) Yeah, um, change that “he” to a “she” and tell me if it’s still hot.  Most of us wouldn’t put up with this shit from men – can I get some constancy, please? I would hope no one would find it appealing either way, because sexual slavery is not something sane people fantasize about.

Sane people also don’t sit around and plan out shit like this:

“Start by ordering him to do small tasks ‑- get you a drink, fluff up the pillows, give you a foot massage. Don’t ask, order. Make it clear that you are the boss and he is not to misbehave or he’ll be punished (think of a mild punishment beforehand, like spanking him with the wooden spoon). Try to keep an expressionless face. No Are you okay?, Did I hurt you?, Are you sure you’re enjoying this?This isn’t about him ‑- it’s all about you!”

Okay, how many issues can we name here?  Hedonism, narcissism bordering on solipsism… It gets worse, but if you want to read it, you can do so over at iVillage – I ain’t pasting any more of that bullshit here.

3) Ah yes, the rape fantasy.  Honestly, if you find this appealing, please either go to therapy, or find a better therapist.  Although, I will admit I have fantasized about being abducted – and beating the SHIT out of my abductor, thereby saving not only myself but his would-have-been future victims.  Yeah, that’s the Conservative Werewolf kind of abduction fantasy!

Anyone who’s into this crap is a sick puppy, and anyone who would publish this crap should be publicly shamed.  Why on Earth anyone would praise twisted sexual power games is beyond me.  (I thought we were supposed to be promoting equality between the sexes!  Silly me!)  Between this and the junk that passes for rom-coms these days, I’m starting to wonder if people aren’t actively trying to kill romance.

Yeah, werewolves can be romantic.  Humans?  Maybe, but right now y’all are really sucking at it.

Fuck this – I’ma go watch “You’ve Got Mail.”

Because Guys Can’t Figure This Out Themselves

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , on July 5, 2011 by conservativewerewolf

Tacky?  Yes, but that’s to be expected these days.

At least no trees were killed to publish the AOL/HuffPo article that encourages men to pleasure themselves to “discover what stimulates [them].”

The men of the world thank you, AOL/HuffPo – that bit of advice was too obvious for them to think of themselves.   “I wonder,” Jim Bob said to himself, “what kind of information I could gain by engaging in such an activity.  Would it be worth the effort?  Perhaps I should study on this a bit longer.  I think I’ll see if there’s anything at AOL/HuffPo on this topic – I so often find it challenging making personal decisions without their assistance.”