Archive for September, 2011

Whiny Little Girls Need to Shut Up and Take Up Jiu Jitsu

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , on September 30, 2011 by conservativewerewolf

Jiu Jitsu’s actually a little touchy feely for my tastes, but the move featured in the linked video seems apropos.

Why?  Never mind that, because OMGoddnessGracious, DID YOU HEAR that the NYPD told women they can’t wear skirts???

Of course you didn’t, because that’s not what they said.  They advised women in a particular Brooklyn neighborhood to make it less easy for the rapists on the loose to rape them by not wearing skirts or dresses (and, presumably, by wearing pants instead).

“Women in a Brooklyn neighborhood on edge over a spate of sex attacks are being told by police that wearing skirts and dresses might not be a good idea.

The surprising message from the NYPD is not being taken well.

‘I think that women should be able to wear whatever they want,’ said Theresa Troupson, a Park Slope resident. ‘I don’t think that they should be held responsible in any way for the actions of criminals.'”

Theresa Troupson, your mentality is one of many reasons I will never willingly live in Park Slope.  You ARE able to wear whatever you want, and you are allowed by law to wear just about anything, including skirts and dresses.

But there are fucking rapists on the loose, so you might want to make it a little harder for them to gain access, if you know what I’m saying, considering crossbows are probably illegal and your lack of a ranged weapon makes it difficult to keep him at a comfortable distance.  Oh, and maybe you should leave the heels home and wear cleats.  OH SORRY, those aren’t in style!  How could I suggest such a thing? (Actually, you know what’s a great type of shoe to bring to a sexual assault?  Stiletto heels.  If you suck at running, wear shoes you can use to impale your attacker.)

But wait- there’s more!

“Lauren, who did not want her last name used, told the the Wall Street Journal that she was walking down the street in shorts and a t-shirt after leaving the gym on Monday when she was stopped by an officer who also stopped two other women in dresses.

Lauren said the officer asked them if they knew what was happening in the area, and asked them if they knew what the suspect looked for.

‘He pointed at my outfit and said, Don’t you think your shorts are a little short?’ she told the Journal. ‘He pointed at their dresses and said they were showing a lot of skin.’

The officer also told them that ‘you’re exactly the kind of girl this guy is targeting,’ according to Lauren.”

You know what?  If he didn’t care, he wouldn’t say shit to you about your nearly (Actually? It is Brooklyn…) visible butt cheeks.

“A group called Safe Slope says the NYPD effort is ‘completely inappropriate.’

‘There have been reports that the women attacked were all wearing skirts,’ said Jessica Silk, a Safe Slope founder. ‘Unfortunately this might be a common link between the women that were attacked but the message shouldn’t be that you shouldn’t wear a skirt. The message should be that, Here are ways that you can protect yourself.'”

And why on Earth would the victims have that in common?  Apparently the rapist is LAZY.  DON’T MAKE IT EASY FOR HIM.  That’s one step toward protecting yourself in a state where you’re not allowed to carry a gun.

It sucks that there are assholes who see some skin and think a woman’s “asking for it.”  But it’s stupid not to admit there are violent misogynists who think that way.  And if you need to wear a skirt (for a wedding, because you’re Orthdox Jewish, etc.), carry pepper spray and put a (legal) knife in your (sneaker-soled for running) boot.  Don’t forget to take a self-defense class and practice the moves before lobbying for your Second Amendment rights!

Or you could organize another Slut Walk.  (The lack of a link there is intentional.)


Van Jones to Build the Grassroots

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , on September 30, 2011 by conservativewerewolf

I just love this:

“Van Jones: ‘We are going to build a progressive counterbalance to the [naturally occurring] tea party.'”

Poor Van Jones.  He held a Communist Party and no one came.  Dude, hint: next time offer free beer and pizza.  Duh.

Let’s Count the Cliches

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , on September 30, 2011 by conservativewerewolf

From The Daily Mail:

The lesbian parents of an 11-year-old boy who is undergoing the process of becoming a girl last night defended the decision, claiming it was better for a child to have a sex change when young.

Thomas Lobel, who now calls himself Tammy, is undergoing controversial hormone blocking treatment in Berkeley, California to stop him going through puberty as a boy.

Thomas/Tammy was diagnosed with gender identity disorder.  In other words, he has a disorder (yes, this will likely be renamed in the next few years to make the obvious seem less so).  For some reason, he wants to be a girl.  Maybe someone should try to find out why instead of putting him on a path toward genital mutilation.

Conservative Werewolf is aware that every so often someone is born with both male and female parts and the docs take a guess.  If that’s the case, then hey, they guessed incorrectly.  But if there isn’t anything funky going on with this little boy’s chromosomes, maybe we should revisit the “disorder” part of “gender identity disorder” and try to figure out what’s going on and get him some therapy before irreparable damage is done.

Yes, I did just link to that South Park episode.  And I’d like to share with all of you that when I was little, I too felt I was truly a dolphin.  But I was wrong.

Turns out I’m a werewolf.  Who knew?

I don’t know Morgan Freeman

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , on September 26, 2011 by conservativewerewolf

and I’m pretty sure he doesn’t know me.  But he said I’m a racist.

According to the Voice of God, Tea Partiers are racist, and, seeing as how your old pal Conservative Werewolf has attended a few of those social gatherings, that means I am, too.  Which is weird, because I never knew I held any disdain for minorities.  Ah well, you learn something new everyday.

*raises hand*

I have a question.  Why do TV news show hosts ask liberals to explain the motivations of conservatives?  If Piers “Look I Have a TV Show in America!!” Morgan sincerely wants to understand us, WHY DOES HE NOT ASK US ABOUT OURSELVES?

I’ma take a stab at the answer.  Perhaps he thinks we would lie to save face.  Being racist is not only fucked up, but super passe.  We wouldn’t want to sully the image of our brand new shiny movement with the truth of our evil twisted black hearts -oh shit, was that racist?  Considering I’m a Tea Partier, probably so, even though I didn’t mean it that way.

Actually Morgie, the answer you would get from your average Tea Partier would be the truth.  Let’s imagine how this might go:

Q: Are Tea Partiers “out to get” President Obama?
A: We’re out to get him out of office.

Q: Is it because he’s black?
A: No.

Q: Are you sure?
A: Quite.

Q: But you don’t like him.
A: We’ll, most of us haven’t met him, but we don’t appreciate what he’s doing to us and the economy, particularly through Obamacare.

Q: But he wants to make America a better place!
A: What he said was that he wants to “fundamentally transform” America, and he’s doing that, if by “fundamentally transform” he means “make suck” or “create a new normal of nearly 20% un/underemployment.”

Q: Tell us the truth – this is really about Obama being black.
A: Please note that we’re not the ones who said he’s black.  He said he’s black, when in truth he’s biracial: half black and half white.  But if he wants to adhere to the racist notion that a drop of “black blood” makes one black, then whatever, we’ll call him what he wants to be called.  It doesn’t really matter – what matters are his policies.

Q: That’s not really the answer I was looking for.  Aren’t there a lot of Tea Partiers who are racist?
A: No.  In fact, there are minorities in the Tea Party.  But I suppose there could be some scattered about, considering there are plenty of racist liberals.

Q: That’s impossible!  You can’t be a liberal and be racist!
A: Tell that to the racist liberals.  Oh, and don’t forget the misogynistic ones.  They’re a hoot.

Q: I don’t believe liberals can be racist.  Liberals are all about fairness and justice.
A: And inclusivity?

Q: Yes, that’s right.
A: Well then, I certainly hope you’ll have a nice time at your next Black Panther meeting.

Q: That’s completely off topic.
A: So’s your face.

Q: That doesn’t make any sense!
A: You started it.

Q: Okay, let’s get back on topic.  Can you prove to us that Tea Partiers are not racist?
A: Ooh, here’s a better game – prove to us that YOU’RE not racist.

Q: Well, of course I’m not racist!  I know that it doesn’t make any sense to assume that someone is inferior based on his or her skin color.
A: Just like it doesn’t make sense to assume a person is intelligent based on his or her British accent.

So, why don’t hosts like Piers Morgan ask question to people who actually have the answers?  Because, instead of being provided the answer they want, they would get answers they don’t want.  They might even open up a dialogue about -gasp- THE ISSUES.  And, being that it’s very difficult to defend a craptastic economy, it’s better to avoid the discussion altogether by labeling their ideological opponents “racists” or “Nazis” or “fascists” or what-have-you.

Seriously, guys, thinking is hard.  Let’s not ask too much of liberal news show hosts or their celebrity tools.