Archive for January, 2012

Want to know how to make a conservative werewolf cry?

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , on January 31, 2012 by conservativewerewolf

Release Afghani Gitmo prisoners in Afghanistan while our troops are still there.

Yes, the U.S. may release them “as an incentive to bring the Taliban to peace talks.”

Because that won’t (literally) blow up in our troops’ faces.

“The prisoners proposed for transfer include some of the detainees brought to Guantanamo during the initial days and weeks of the U.S. invasion that toppled the Taliban government in Afghanistan in 2001. At least one has been accused in the massacre of thousands of Shiite Muslims in Afghanistan, according to U.S. and other assessments, but none are accused of directly killing Americans.

“‘I don’t think anybody harbors any illusions about it, but I think the position is to at least explore the potential for negotiating with them as a part of this overall resolution of the situation in Afghanistan,’ Clapper said during a Senate Intelligence Committee hearing.”

Depending on what the Afghan government agrees to, these guys  might go to a detention center in Qatar, but Karzai doesn’t want them going directly there because it makes him look bad or something, but he  might agree to send them there if we hand them over to him, or something convoluted like that.

This isn’t definite, and of course is being opposed by congressional Republicans, who cite recidivism stats.  Check out the linked article for more details, and then watch this quick video of a Canadian run school in Afghanistan which features a girls sharing their opinions of the Taliban.


Blog Recommendation

Posted in Uncategorized with tags on January 30, 2012 by conservativewerewolf

As a nice werewolf (relatively speaking), I worry about stupid humans.  You know, the humans who think they’re safe because “things like that just don’t happen around here,” or that they would be safe if only guns were outlawed, not to mention the humans who think bears are cute cuddly-wuddly fwiends.

There are a lot of these idiots, who, thanks to deadbolts, airbags, THE FUCKING US MILITARY, and luck, are still with us.  We hear a lot from these fools, in newspaper editorials and online.  It’s enough to make a ravenously hungry mutant beast cry.

But occasionally, a rational human pops up and gives me hope that you won’t all get gobbled up leaving me along with the undisciplined loup garoux (who, assuming they don’t turn on each other, lol, thereby depriving me of my required socialization, will force me to be their DD every single full moon because they just can’t get their shit together).

Today’s featured human being with an in-tact self-preservation instinct is Grerp, a woman who blogs at The Lost Art of Self-Preservation (For Women).  Trust me, the promising title does not mislead – this blog is WORTH YOUR TIME.  In fact, this blog may SAVE HUMANITY.  Go, read, learn, improve.

Dear Allen West: Continue Being Awesome.

Posted in 2012 Election with tags , on January 29, 2012 by conservativewerewolf

Representative West:

I understand you’ve had some reservations about running for president.  You’re a new rep and you’ve been busy learning your way around D.C., and we haven’t had a chance to talk about it one-on-one, but after viewing this video, I just want to let you know that it’s okay with me.  Obviously, you weren’t sure how such an important minority would react to your candidacy, and you couldn’t take a poll, because we’re kinda underground

...So, you HAVE heard of that and all.  I get it.  That’s why I wanted to take this moment to let you know that the Conservative Werewolf fully supports your now imminent run for president, and eagerly anticipates the unavoidable and so very deserved beatdown you’ll give the Romster and Gingy.  (I would ask you not to make Santorum cry, but I think just being in the presence of so much manliness would kick start his tear ducts.)  As for Ron, well, that’ll be an interesting debate (finally).

So, you have my blessing!  Go to it!


The Conservative Werewolf

Avoid the ghetto? Why yes, thank you.

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , on January 18, 2012 by conservativewerewolf


He specifically named streets I should never drive down.  Why?  Because some people are RACIST (thugs don’t like werewolves) and would go out of their way to hurt me.

Have you ever been led by your GPS through a part of town full of people who SCOWL at your average sedan just for being on their street (Perth Amboy, New Jersey I am looking at YOU)?  Soon, your GPS may be able to offer you the option not to travel through a high-crime area.  Microsoft recently patented a concept for an app (said app is still in development) that will tell your GPS if a lot of crime happens in an area on the shortest route to your destination.

Predictably, some whiny losers at the NAACP are whining about “racism.”

Dallas NAACP president Juanita Wallace apparently does not understand that this app is not mandatory or capable of preventing anyone from driving through the ghetto:

“Can you imagine me not being able to go to MLK Blvd. because my GPS says that’s a dangerous crime area? I can’t even imagine that,” she said.

No, I can’t either.  Stupid human.

OH WAIT, she just equated MLK Blvd. with the ghetto!  That’s RACIST!

Just sayin’.

A Dallas resident named Tommy Jones said:

“From a business standpoint, it could be devastating,” he said. “Especially in the area of tourism.”

Right, because when people unexpectedly wind up driving through the ghetto, their first thought is to get out of the car and buy something.  “Hey, a Subway!  You don’t see those in the ‘burbs!”  And what is this association of high-crime areas with tourism?  If people are getting stabbed outside the museum, guess what – people are going to avoid the museum.  It’s called having the desire to live with all your organs intact – accept it and stop whining.

Wallace continued to demonstrate her lack of willingness or ability to think by stating:

“What happens in North Dallas certainly ought to be no different than what happens in South Dallas, so we can’t keep on doing this… This type of technology is certainly going to pronounce and heighten it to some degree.”

Perhaps it “ought to be” no different, but apparently, it IS, and this app is not going to make it worse.  You know what it might do? It might decrease traffic in some areas (I would say thanks!) by alerting people to the fact that those areas are HIGH CRIME AREAS.  I’m sorry if you want to keep people who don’t know that in the dark (thereby possibly endangering their lives) just so you can pretend no one there hates white or Asian people and that Hispanic and black people in the ghetto just love love love each other.  (And Dominicans and Puerto Ricans usually won’t even let their kids date each other!)  So if you want to take a stand against racism, you should start on MLK Blvd.

And because I don’t want to have to go out of my way when streets are blocked off by police due to a stabbing (Thank you, Newark, New Jersey), if my GPS ever offers me the option to avoid the ghetto, my reply will be, “Yes, let’s.”

Because I talk to my GPS.

Would YOU abort Derpy Hooves?

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , on January 13, 2012 by conservativewerewolf

Look at this face:

And then ask yourself: would you abort Derpy Hooves?

Yeah, she’s a pain in the butt sometimes, like when she dropped an anvil on Twilight Sparkle, but Twilight was fine!  No harm, right?

I read an article at called “A New Eugenics: Aborting the Child with a Disability” and thought of all the love Derpy gets – hell, she was largely a fan creation (her name and occupation were decided by fans, then approved by My Little Pony maker Hasbro).  And I wondered, when people say that unborn humans with disabilities should be aborted, how do born humans with disabilities feel?  Seriously, if you think an unborn baby with Down Syndrome or whatever should be aborted, before SAYING or TYPING it, I want you to picture Derpy Hooves crying.  If people can give this much love to an animated pegasus with googly eyes…

Now, you may argue that there’s nothing cute about cerebral palsy (“the sexiest of the palsies”), but I can’t imagine an Oprah Winfrey Network without Zach Anner (not that I usually spend time thinking about OWN, which, without Zach, would be NOTHING).

Zach Anner became a YouTube celebrity when he auditioned to win his own TV show on Winfrey’s OWN channel.  Watch it here and be sure to read the comments – they are full of love for this guy who has a terrible disability, but faces life bravely with humor!

Turns out Zach won the contest. 😀

Zach Anner’s “Rollin’ With Zach” premiered January 12th on OWN.   I didn’t see it because I don’t even know what number OWN is 😦 But if the show is anything like his YouTube videos, it’s gonna rock.  I encourage everyone to check it out.  This guy is my hero.   It’s kind of hard for people in wheelchairs to globe-trot, so if nothing else, it’s something new (and when was the last time we saw a new concept on TV?).  It’s also freakin’ inspiring.  Roll on, Zach!

Marines desecrate Taliban corpses!

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , on January 13, 2012 by conservativewerewolf

I won’t tell you what I envisioned when I read that headline, but it was so bad that when I read that they merely peed on them, I laughed because it was so mild compared to what I’d been prepared for, and thought, “That’s it?”

It was inappropriate (such behavior should be BENEATH a U.S. marine), and STUPID because the images will be used to stoke America-hatred.  But geez, was it that bad?

As usual, Allen West says it best:

“I have sat back and assessed the incident with the video of our Marines urinating on Taliban corpses. I do not recall any self-righteous indignation when our Delta snipers Shugart and Gordon had their bodies dragged through Mogadishu. Neither do I recall media outrage and condemnation of our Blackwater security contractors being killed, their bodies burned, and hung from a bridge in Fallujah.

“All these over-emotional pundits and armchair quarterbacks need to chill. Does anyone remember the two Soldiers from the 101st Airborne Division who were beheaded and gutted in Iraq?

“The Marines were wrong. Give them a maximum punishment under field grade level Article 15 (non-judicial punishment), place a General Officer level letter of reprimand in their personnel file, and have them in full dress uniform stand before their Battalion, each personally apologize to God, Country, and Corps videotaped and conclude by singing the full US Marine Corps Hymn without a teleprompter.

“As for everyone else, unless you have been shot at by the Taliban, shut your mouth, war is hell.”

And there you have it: a reasonable response.


I love you, Thomas Sowell

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , on January 13, 2012 by conservativewerewolf

What an awesome human.

In this article, published in April of 2010, Dr. Sowell pwns the history books you had to read by writing of the Europeans enslaved by North Africans.

Wait – AFRICANS had WHITE slaves?

You mean white people aren’t the source of all evil in the world?

That’s right – welcome to humankind:

“The inhumanity of human beings toward other human beings is not a new story, much less a local story. There is no need to hide it, because there are lessons we can learn from it. But there is also no need to distort it, so that sins of the whole human species around the world are presented as special defects of “our society” or the sins of a particular race. “

So no race is inherently better than another?  (Why does that sound familiar?)  Dr. Sowell, being awesome and brilliant, does not extrapolate from this any inherent equality among cultures:

“If American society and Western civilization are different from other societies and civilization, it is that they eventually turned against slavery, and stamped it out, at a time when non-Western societies around the world were still maintaining slavery and resisting Western pressures to end slavery, including in some cases armed resistance.

“Only the fact that the West had more firepower than others put an end to slavery in many non-Western societies during the age of Western imperialism. Yet today there are Americans who have gone to Africa to apologize for slavery– on a continent where slavery has still not been completely ended, to this very moment.”

So why don’t we learn more about the injustices committed by people of various races against people of various other races?  Well, that’s the question, now, isn’t it?:

“Those who mine history for sins are not searching for truth but for opportunities to denigrate their own society, or for grievances that can be cashed in today, at the expense of people who were not even born when the sins of the past were committed. “

Why, when there are so many terrible things that have happened, focus on the bad things white people have done to black people?  We need to know about the enslavement of African people, but we need to know about things that happened to other people, too.  I never understood the focus on black/white relations in history class (and the occasional dabbling in Hispanic/white relations).  Based on my US history textbook, you’d think there weren’t any other minorities in large numbers in American until the 80s.  I’d ask about, say, Chinese people, and my teacher would say, “Yeah, they were there” and go on with the lesson because there wasn’t time for anything outside the curriculum.

Why was the curriculum so black and white?  What about the plight of Chinese settlers in the Wild West?

There were Chinese settlers in America back then?  Uh, yeah.  Remember Buford Tannen’s biography in Back to the Future 3?  “Buford Tannen was a notorious gunman, whose short-temper and propensity to drool earned him the nickname “Mad Dog”. He was quick on the trigger and bragged that he killed 12 men, not including any Indians or Chinamen.”

I suppose Americans of East Asian descent are just too hard to peg as victims.  *warning: generalization based on reality ahead* They keep working hard and sending their kids to college and not starting advocacy groups for the purpose of bitching about how the white man has kept them down.  So we’ll just ignore them.

We’ll also ignore the fifty thousand Irish slaves who worked the sugar plantations in Barbados.  Remember learning about Oliver Cromwell?  He was some English dude, right?  Yeah, he was in charge for a while and there was like a civil war or something.  Bet you didn’t learn that the Irish and Scots he didn’t kill he sold into slavery.  Or [indefinite] “indentured servitude.”

It’s interesting the things we don’t learn in school.