Archive for religion

But he looks so cuddly

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , on May 12, 2014 by conservativewerewolf

Harvard is hosting a “Satanic mass,” for all of you who are dying to establish a close personal relationship with Christianity’s number one symbol of evil – the murderer of kittens himself, Satan.

I see this as a niche thing, and where better to spend resources on something like five people care about than a college campus?  Hell, set up a table at the student involvement fair, and soon enough maybe eight of you will don peripheral-vision-eliminating robes in a circle while chanting eerily (ooh, so creepy, lol!).

If only that’s all it was.  Basically, Satanists (or these attention whores who call themselves Satanists – somehow I think real Satanists prefer to sit incognito at street cafes, sipping cappuccinos while thinking smugly how deluded the rest of us are not to have figured out where true power lies) are the biggest assholes in the universe.  Who else would look at someone’s religion, think, “I don’t so much dig that, but the evil guy, the one who tries to get the good guy to off himself, he seems kinda cool,” and then start a new religion specifically to counter the one centered around that nice guy who keeps helping people, regardless of their wealth or social standing?

No one but a big fucking asshole.

And now, just to out-asshole-themselves, they’re jacking a Catholic mass and making it all dark and evil (you know, like, cooler).  Why?  Can’t they come up with their own ceremonies?  These must be the least creative people in the world.  They’re like writers of bad fanfiction who won’t stop spamming you for comments.  Except these ivy league douchebags didn’t even create this parody themselves – apparently, it was performed back in the Dark Ages.  Being old, it’s now a classic, and worthy of study.  If only the Bible had such status among the hallowed halls of Harvard*.

This is clearly a cry for help.  These people’s parents need to put them in a time out and not let them hang out with each other anymore (you know what happens when a bunch of assholes get together – I’ll let you come up with an image for that).

*Here’s a fun idea for a poll – go to a college that isn’t affiliated with a religion and find out how many religion professors actually believe in any of the religions they study (feminist/neo-Marxist/post-modern reinterpretations do not count).