There is no Republican war on women

If you believe there is one, you are being a tool.  Stop being a tool.

BUT OMG CONTROLLING WOMEN’S BODIES  RAAAAAAAAAR *foaming at the mouth*

Okay, stop with the crazy emotions and think for a second.  Yes, men and women are physically different – only women can get pregnant.  That does not mean that anyone owes women birth control or abortions so they can have sex without worrying about pregnancy like men.  Same is not equal.  We’re different, and it’s okay.  Yes, women have to be more careful, but if we all stopped whining about it, we could probably take over the whole damn world (sorry men, but we could).  I am not advocating this because the Conservative Werewolf is a fan of men and women’s inherent equality.  But seriously, if women learned ninjitsu, got some guns (both for self-defense only), and then refused to have sex with douchebags and assholes… the world would be a much better, kinder, more productive place.

It really wouldn’t be that hard.  Women would just need to stop acting like Sex and the City’s premise that women can and should “have sex like men” makes any kind of sense.  Oh, and there would be a lot fewer unwanted pregnancies that way (because birth control can fail).

What?  That’s right.  You knew that.  That’s why nutty women rally for abortion wearing nothing but stickers above their belts: abortion is the fail-safe.  It’s not just for when a woman’s health is in danger (just about everyone in the country agrees on allowing exceptions for the health of the mother; that’s why the most absolute anti-abortion measures can’t get enough support anywhere – seriously, go look it up) – don’t let them make you afraid of some crazy post-apocalyptic world in which women are forced to carry babies to term even if it means they could die.  That’s not gonna happen, because MOST CONSERVATIVES AGREE WITH YOU THAT THIS WOULD BE A TERRIBLE THING.   If most women who support Roe v. Wade knew this, and knew how often abortion is used as birth control, they would probably support some changes.  But they’re lied to constantly by the crazies.

Human women who rabidly support abortion are just weird.  Pregnant women have another human being’s body developing inside their own body, but the nutters don’t want to accept that it’s another human being’s body.  No, it’s not part of the mother’s body – it’s a unique human with its own DNA.  Look that up, too.  It’s science.

And, because of legal abortion for any reason, women have the power to destroy that life with no legal consequences.  But abortion-supporters still aren’t happy.  Noo, they need everyone to accept them, and not judge them, and PROVIDE THEM WITH BIRTH CONTROL.  Yeah, we need to work on health insurance in this country, but no one has a right to free birth control.  That idea is just silly.  We don’t have rights to most things we need (like food).  And we shouldn’t!  How hard would people suck if everything they needed was just handed to them?  It would be a world full of teenagers.  Ugh!  That would be worse than living in a world full of werewolves.  I am not kidding.

Instead of creating a Brave New World, why not just take care of our offspring?

BUT CW, life is like, expensive!

No shit.  But somehow, PP received hundreds of thousands of dollars after Susan G. Komen announced it would sever ties with the organization.  What if all the money that goes to abortion providers went to help struggling mothers?  It wouldn’t be enough to send every baby to college, but it could certainly help with pre-natal care, job training and adoption.  Just think what we could afford if killing unborn babies wasn’t anyone’s priority.

So, the next time you read about the Republicans’ “War on Women,” stop and think.  And maybe go talk to a few Republicans to find out what we* really think.  (WARNING: if you do not believe fetuses are human** your brain may short circuit.)

*Yeah, I’m a Republican, but only because it’s easier to be involved in political processes if you register with a party.  Plenty of Republicans are lamewads – but there are only two major parties.  What’s a werewolf to do?

**We’ve all heard the meaningless/subjective “a fetus is not a baby” argument – now, there’s the “a fetus is not a human being” argument – although really, I don’t see how anyone could argue that, so it’s probably more accurately labelled a mantra.

And, most importantly, don’t hate on Republicans just because we can see the ridiculous end results of liberals’ dumb ideas.  Really, all that energy you’re expending freaking out is a waste.  Chill the hell out, and ask yourself if you’re in a frenzy because someone has successfully whipped you up into one.  It’s okay to be angry, but only if there’s a good reason.  “They don’t wanna give me free stuff!” is not a good reason.  Be the logical thinking person you’re capable of being – and for fuck’s sake, stop being a tool.

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