If Your Name is Sarah Connor

I’d go in to hiding right about now.  “Thinking” computer chips.  Good job, guys.  I swear, don’t people listen to the prophets?  Terminator came out 27 years ago.   Twenty-seven.  These scientists must remember back that far, right?  In fact, some of them were probably young and impressionable back then – didn’t you guys go see the movie???

I estimate we have about a month left before we need to start freaking the hell out.

Seriously, though, this stuff is creepy.

“Why are you against scientific progress, Conservative Werewolf?  OHYEAH, conservatives don’t believe in science!”

No, conservatives don’t believe in trying to create intelligence because we’re mature enough to realize it could come back to bite us in the ass – because we’ve fucking seen Terminator.  (I actually doubt this will be a politically polarizing issue – okay, ANYTHING can become politically polarized, but – there IS hope that because enough people, liberal, moderate, conservative, apolitical, have been exposed to these ideas, we’ll all be able to put politics aside to fight the metal hordes together.)

This is actually kind of funny, considering all the whining about the “self-esteem crisis” when I was a kid.  Even today, some people haven’t figured out that if you don’t have a reason to feel good about yourself (being kind to others, producing something that won’t bring about the destruction of man- and were-mankind…), you’re not gonna feel good about yourself.

Which makes me wonder: what’s going to happen to people’s self-esteem when a bunch of robots can (seemingly) do EVERYTHING better than we can?  Not only will people feel lame, they’ll feel very comfortable (at first), and feel no need to strive for anything (unless the economy doesn’t get better and society totally breaks down, but that’s a topic for another apocalypse-post) and then they’ll REALLY feel lame because they don’t do anything – because not only is there an app for that, there’s a chip in a robot that looks like a supermodel for that.

Look, I’m all about the Roomba, but are humanoids going to leave not only the cleaning but also the THINKING to the machines?  Maybe.  We’re lazy sometimes.  Personally, I’m all about naps.

Maybe I’ll just hoard robot destroying weapons and sleep through the impending nihilistic identity crisis.  Because really, what are humans but messy natural computers that constantly go on the fritz?  What the hell is a soul?  SOULS?  Those aren’t quantifiable!  Pfft.

“But wait, Conservative Werewolf, you’re being ridiculous.”

You’re right.  The robot revolution is not upon us.

The CYBORG revolution is.

To all you people who said, “It’s just science fiction,” and/or “Cartoons are for kids,” I’d like to say: Fuck you.


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