Oh go ahead, rape my childhood some more.

We can’t escape the staggering horde of movie and TV remakes spawned over the last few years.  They’ve got us surrounded, and they’re about to go in for the kill:

PBS is revamping (code for “shittifying”) “Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood.”

I will force myself to hold out hope that, at the least, “Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood” will be harmless, vapid and cute.

Just out of curiosity, dear readers, have you ever seen a werewolf cry?

“So cynical, Miss Werewolf!  Such a downer – how like a conservative!”

Come now – you know it would be bucking the trend for this show to have anything near the quality of the original.  Chances are, the show will suck.  Hard:

Fred Rogers revolutionised children’s media with Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood, and Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood continues on this path of innovation, helping the next generation of young children learn and grow in new ways,” PBS senior vice-president Lesli Rotenberg said following the announcement. “Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood fills a critical gap in children’s media today.”

“Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood” continues on this path of innovation-”  See, ALREADY they’re on the wrong track – trying to “innovate” with a remake.  Might as well create an entirely new show, instead of leeching off the reputation of the original.  I suppose the creators would, if they had souls.  Damn vampires.

Here’s clue number two that this show will suck: it’s designed to “[help] the next generation of young children learn and grow in new ways.”  WTF does that mean?  Do children really need to grow in new ways?  How many ways are there in which to grow?  How about this: let’s let them watch a show that will engage and encourage them without getting them hyper or rowdy, or encouraging them to disrespect their parents while using poor grammar.  Something like, oh, “MISTER ROGERS’ NEIGHBORHOOD.”  Too bad no one invented a way to store old TV shows for future generations.

Rawr. 

I could be wrong.  It would be nice if I am.  We’ll just have to wait and see.

And now for a moment of levity in Mr. Robinson’s Neighborhood.

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