Tucker Max Hearts Planned Parenthood

and he does not heart you, missy.  Seriously.  Read his books.  You’re just a piece of ass to him.

And if you get preggers, he’ll send you straight over to Planned Parenthood to get l’il Max/Maximiliana sucked out.

Because he does not want to have a baby – not even with you (because to him, you are not special).  He wants to have lots of sex with random chicks, of course, which he does.  Sometimes they get pregnant (protection?), which is inconvenient.  So the little “clump of cells”/proto-person/fetus/offspring of the douchiest douche ever to publish a book about himself gets offed because it would totally kill his buzz.

Tuesday, July 19th, 2011

Dear Human Females,

Do not have sex with Tucker Max.  There is no way you could hate yourself enough to do this.  You may have the unexplainable impulse to have sex with him, but hold that thought for your therapist.  DO NOT HAVE SEX WITH TUCKER MAX.

No.

Shut up.

Seriously, this is for your own good.  Stop it.

Just say no to douchefaces.

Sincerely,

Conservative Werewolf

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